Then I’d feel even worse, because I felt so guilty about not being happy having these things that so many people in the Western world dream of having.
So many times I’d feel like I was going to throw up.
#Alanis morissette topless movie#
I remember I would go into movie theatres where it was all dark and just sob. I felt totally under pressure and completely panicked. It was too much, like the world had changed around me, and I didn’t feel happy, because all of a sudden I had all this money and all these people were shouting my name. People dream about getting fame and money, but I couldn’t cope with it. I hated my fame and my millions when Jagged Little Pill came out. 'When my career was at its peak I wanted to quit music,' says Alanis (above on 'The Tonight Show with Jay Leno') She’s got class, because she sent me a gold cake in the shape of a bum with the words ‘You are a genius’ iced on the side. It was all about her ‘lady lumps’ and flaunting myself in front of guys, wearing tight jeans, low-cut tops and lots of diamonds. I sent her up when I performed a version of the Black Eyed Peas song My Humps. Within a matter of minutes of being exposed to air conditioning my body goes into meltdown, and within three hours I’ll contract laryngitis and won’t be able to speak, let alone sing.įergie sent me a cake in the shape of a bum after I spoofed her on YouTube. It’s not about being a diva – it’s about my health. People think I’m some sort of diva because I won’t even put a foot into a place if the air-con is on. I refuse to go into rooms with air conditioning. But I do believe in experimentation – otherwise, how do you really know what you like and don’t like in life? Her character was supposed to be reluctant about getting involved, so it wasn’t a passionate kiss – it was a reticent one, which is the reason I didn’t enjoy it. I have experimented with same-sex relationships in my life, but it wasn’t about enjoyment with Sarah Jessica. I played a lesbian in Sex And The City and I had to kiss her. I’ve had lots of dates and lots of sex, but I haven’t been pushing to turn a date into a relationship. I had to break that pattern by not allowing myself to have a relationship for a year, stopping myself from committing to men. All my life I’ve been in long-term monogamous relationships. I created my own form of love-addiction rehab.
No-strings relationships have helped cure me of love addiction. It’s been tough, but it’s also been creative, because my new album was written during this time.
I had a lot of therapy and forced myself to face up to my big issue with men and understand there was this pattern in my life where I went from one relationship to the next expecting it to magically make me happy. I went through pain, anger, tears and lots of denial, and spent days screaming and crying. It made me realise that I’m a hopeless love addict, always expecting that my problems will be solved by the perfect man. I hit rock bottom a year ago when I broke up with my fiancé, Ryan Reynolds. I may be doing things backwards, but I think I’m having a rite of passage that releases a lot of pressure valves. As a teenager and in my twenties I worried too much about having to get up in the morning to stay out drinking and partying all night. I was a classic overachiever, worrying all the time about doing the best I could. I’ve always been incredibly controlled, because I had to be at such a young age. I was a child star, then famous all over again at 21, and a decade on I’ve realised I have this need to allow myself to completely unravel. I have thrown myself into a year of debauchery. The album sold 30 million copies and garnered four Grammys.Īlanis has also starred in movies such as Dogma and appeared in television shows including Sex And The City, Curb Your Enthusiasm and Nip/Tuck. In 1995, Madonna signed her to her new record label, and her angst-ridden album Jagged Little Pill became the biggest seller of the year, with Ironic and You Oughta Know hitting No 1 spots all over the world. I’d exist on black coffee, carrots and Melba toast because I was told I had to lose weight,’ she says. ‘I developed anorexia and bulimia because I was under so much pressure. It made me realise that I'm a hopeless love addict' When Alanis Morissette split up with her fianc éRyan Reynolds last year, she 'hit rock bottom.
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